I was born into a world where people celebrate birthdays. The exact reason I wonder sometimes, but I guess most people do so because it’s kind of a milestone… a celebration of life, a rite of passage to old age?

Today, I think about age, and what it represents. For the most part, age comes with wisdom ; a certain perspective, ripeness, gravitas. A sense of grounding in reality. When we are young, everybody believes in us. In our ability and potential. In what we can, and should become. But then as we age, we actually become. People believe less and expect more. The unbridled passion and energy of youth are now tempered with experience. We realize that life is not so long after all, and we don’t have that much time left. We now realize that contrary to the ideas exposed to us in our youth, we can’t be anything. Or maybe we can be anything, but we can’t be everything. We can’t know everyone. We can’t go everywhere, and we can’t have everything.

Youth is obsessed with the idea of perfection ; the concept that it is possible, and even desirable, to have everything, be everything, do everything… Sometimes I wonder why that is. May be the concept of perfection and its constant demand is necessary to keep us working and dreaming ? Maybe it soothes some deeply seated hurts and securities to constantly judge and reject others for their shortcomings ? I sometimes wonder what the world would be like if we were all as perfect as we would like to imagine ourselves ; if we truly had everything we wanted. One possibility could be that we would be perfectly happy, since happiness obviously consists in having the things we want. Or we could be utterly miserable, as we have nothing to live for and no way to connect to the people we care about, since happiness comes from purpose, meaningful work ; and connection comes from service to those around us. But then, I will never know ; for if everybody were perfect and had everything they wanted, they would find systems to make their own world work, and they would probably begin to speculate on what it could feel like to fallible…

Age comes with that deep realization that a clean life is overrated ; nobody goes through life without a few scars on his back. Scars are not necessarily a symbol of a life poorly lived, but of one well lived, a life spent acting in stead of watching… That we went out and made the mistakes, instead of sitting in and fantasizing about unrealistic ideals. Inasmuch as we may spend our lives denying it, as humans, perfection is neither attainable nor desirable, as its pursuit has an uncanny way of only taking us further from the intended goal itself…We all are creatures with noble ideals, but for the most part, ignoble deeds, who judge others by their actions and justify themselves with their intentions… albeit failing to understand that at the end of the day, its the actions that count… Actions, not intentions, build our world. Life probably is not fair, I would agree, but neither are we. And life probably isn’t fair because its custodians aren’t…

Will it therefore be safe to say that we should all abandon all ideals and aspiration to better living, and resort to barbaric living ? No, of course not. As irate as humanity may be, as Darwinist as society may be, we still have the capacity and desire to believe, to love and be loved…, and becoming animals will not help us any more than unrealistic idealism will.

I would posit, instead, that the profundity of our humanity is defined by our capacity to hold on to our ideals while facing reality. That special ability to believe the best about ourselves and others while often seeing the worst… and understanding that being flawed is not a flaw in itself, it is merely a definition of our humanity. Age brings that perspective, that realization that we are all fundamentally similar, even in our differences… Given similar situations, the majority of us would have similar reactions… Each of us is fighting a battle, every one of us grapples with the same issues that have plagued humanity throughout history : love and hate, happiness and sorrow, failure and defeat…. Age then becomes some sort of an alchemy of idealism and realism, of strength and wisdom, of hope and experience. Proper aging should not dull the dreams of youth, nor stymie its passion; it should fuel bigger dreams with the experience accrued, and instruct hope with pragmatism… Even though age in itself is a funny thing. For a while aging means getting closer to better opportunity and more strength, then… aging becomes a symbol of drawing close to demise… (I wonder what 80 -year olds dream and plan about sometimes?)

I think about age, and the length of journey it signifies. There is definitely more to age than just a number ; it is a symbol of the length of our journey so far on the planet. I think about the different forums available for the expression and development of our humanity, and how only age grants us the opportunities to enjoy them. I think about family ; the fundamental unit of society ; those people who first see you, who first believe in you, who first taught you to speak, to walk, to dress, and who are bound to you by blood. I muse at the mystery of looking at another person and thinking that their blood flows in your veins…

I think about friendship. The water that supposedly runs lighter than blood. As I age, I realize that this is not always true, as water can run pretty thick. So very thick, that if not for its lack of color, it would be mistaken for blood. Sometimes it even runs thicker… and when it does, the effects are magical. Then I think about love. Two people, together, against the world, obstinately building a world…

The best part about being my age is knowing how my life worked out.

• Scott Adams

But then, I think the most fascinating thing about aging is the observation of personal change; the contemplation of opportunities seized, and those missed; the realization of what one has become, (most probably) the difference between what one dreamed of in childhood and what actually happened in adulthood… and the opportunity (that only age can give) to make a difference with all the experience and maturity accrued.

To graceful aging.